So, I've been meaning to start this thing since I started my first big kid job last fall. I openly admit that I was inspired by multiple friends who have written some fairly hysterical and thought-provoking blogs. Took me about 3 months to actually set the the thing up.... and now 6 months later I'm writing the first entry. Oh well, I don't suppose I've every accomplished anything in my life without some degree of procrastination.
I was going to start out by writing about what it was like being a rookie vet, and while I'm still learning everyday, I no longer experience the "oh my god oh my god oh my god" moments on a daily basis, so I guess that ship has sailed. Then I was certain I would write about my midnight pig dystocia where I literally pulled the head off a live piglet.... That might still make the blog someday because it is story worth telling.
I think I'll start with an expansion of the "Top 5 Ways to Piss Off Your Vet After Midnight"
5) Call. Self-explanatory. Go to bed.
4) Call about a cow that has been in labor for "6-8 hours." Even in the middle of the night I can do basic math and figure out that you knew you had a problem when it was still daylight.
3) Tell the vet you don't know what it is going on because you don't know anything about cows. This basically boils down to "I don't want to put my hand in cow. You do it."
2) When the vet arrives ask, "Did I wake you up?" Middle-of-the-Night-Vet wants to say, "No. I sit anxiously by the phone waiting for calls. No sleeping. Ever."
1) Have the cow not actually be in labor. Or even dilated. At all. Seriously???
Sorry for anyone that thinks this first one is a cop out, since this was a recent facebook status message. Actually, I'm not sorry. My blog. My choice :-)