Saturday, December 31, 2011

"Never look back..."

"... unless you are intending to go that way." ~Henry David Thoreau

Everyone remembers their first midnight kiss on New Years Eve.  Not the ones at group parties where everyone kisses everyone else while trying not to spill their plastic cup of whatever poison they will wake up swearing never to touch again.  I'm talking about the one reserved especially for you and I waited 27 years for mine.  We made homemade pizza.  He bought sparkling grapejuice because I was on call and couldn't drink.  It was the perfect New Years Eve.

Fast forward 10 months and 1 week, through a wonderful relationship to me sitting in the middle of a crowded restaurant, being dumped.  It was one of those situations where there was nothing else to do but take deep breaths, fight back tears, maintain whatever dignity I had left by listening to everyone that he needed to say, then walking (not running) out the door with my head held high.  Just like every other time that I had opened my heart to someone I was left feeling worthless, used, and this big.

But enough looking back.  The past is the past and there is absolutely no way to change it.  I'm on call again this New Years Eve, and my plans are much less exciting.  I treated myself to Subway for dinner and am planning to watch a marathon of the Big Bang Theory.  I most likely will not stay up until midnight.  I have no desire to face a day of potential emergencies while experiencing a lack of sleep just for the sake of watching other people party on television.

I don't do formal resolutions because I feel that they always seem generic.  Besides I read a news article this week that actually confirms that people have much more success reaching goals if they do not tell people about them.  I've thought of several things I would like to change about my life over the next year and some fun things that I would like to do just for the sake of checking them off the bucket list.  I may or may not succeed at any or all of them, but I've made up my mind to give them a go.

So Happy New Year everyone!  I hope 2012 brings you everything you need and at least some of the things you want.  I'll keep you posted on the adventures in veterinary medicine and the craziness is that is the life of Julie :-)

Saturday, December 24, 2011

A Veterinarian's Chistmas, by Anonymous

It is the night before Christmas and I'm in my truck.
I'll be home before daylight with any luck.
I've got a prolapse behind me and a dystocia to go -
Wouldn't you know it's starting to snow.

I pulled in the barn, "Doc, I sure hated to phone ya -"
"I've got a heifer that's calving and a colt with pneumonia."
I examined the heifer; posterior presentation
And the cervix was tight - incomplete dilation!

I cleaned up my tools and put on my jacket.
I was headed to the truck when I heard the racket.
I peeked 'round the corner, my gosh it's a deer!
And a fat little man dressed in red standing near.

The deer was standing holding up a front hoof.
From the looks of things he'd fallen off the roof.
The man looked over my way and asked me to help.
I couldn't resist the kind little elf.

I examined the deer's carpus to see if it was broke.
Then to my amazement the reindeer spoke!
He spoke quite firmly, his voice didn't quiver.
"We've got to keep going, we've got gifts to deliver."

I said, "He needs x-rays, stall rest, restricted motion.
The last thing he should do is fly over the ocean!"
Then Santa replied, "It's up to Donner."
And Donner said something about duty and honor.
So I gave him a dose of bute and flunixin
Wondering if I was breaking some government restriction.
I fashioned a splint-bandage and wrapped it on tight.
Standing there in his harness he made quite a sight.

They promised they'd go see a vet the next day,
so with some final instructions I sent them on their way.
I stood mouth wide open as they flew out of sight.
Santa yelled, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Leg Lamp

I am not a fa-la-la-la Christmas fanatic.  I won't put the tree up until December and it comes down by January 2nd.  I buy my Christmas cards for the following year in January from bargain bins, and spend the entire year maintaining lists of gift ideas for the various people in my life so that I don't have to stress about what to get someone with the holidays breathing down my neck.  By the time Black Friday rolls around, most of my shopping is either already done or will be completed online.  Getting me into a mall or large retail store after Halloween is damn near impossible since I do not feel that people throwing elbows over discount electronics and toys is an appropriate celebration of the holiday season.

The downside of the whole situation is when you find that most perfect gift for someone and purchase it a couple months before the gift-giving opportunity.... and then the someone decides that they will no longer be a part of your life....  you may be stuck with a gift that is subsequently homeless. 

Meet the Leg Lamp.
This iconic item from the "A Christmas Story" movie is actually available for purchase.  Don't get too excited, I did not purchase the full sized version.  But I did buy a scaled down version desktop size.  It even came in a cardboard box printed like the box in the movie.  It was as gloriously tacky as I could have dreamed and was destined to be the most perfect Christmas gift I had ever found.  Until, well.... you can guess.

BUT, by the grace of the Ebay gods, today I was notified that the abandoned little Leg Lamp has found a home.  As a special Christmas gift to the anonymous Ebay member, I am going to ship them their package overnight for no extra charge.  I wish them the very merriest of Christmases and hope that their last-minute (in my opinion) purchase gets a lot of smiles on Christmas morning.  I think that's the least the Leg Lamp deserves, don't you agree?