"Never look back..."

"... unless you are intending to go that way." ~Henry David Thoreau

Everyone remembers their first midnight kiss on New Years Eve.  Not the ones at group parties where everyone kisses everyone else while trying not to spill their plastic cup of whatever poison they will wake up swearing never to touch again.  I'm talking about the one reserved especially for you and I waited 27 years for mine.  We made homemade pizza.  He bought sparkling grapejuice because I was on call and couldn't drink.  It was the perfect New Years Eve.

Fast forward 10 months and 1 week, through a wonderful relationship to me sitting in the middle of a crowded restaurant, being dumped.  It was one of those situations where there was nothing else to do but take deep breaths, fight back tears, maintain whatever dignity I had left by listening to everyone that he needed to say, then walking (not running) out the door with my head held high.  Just like every other time that I had opened my heart to someone I was left feeling worthless, used, and this big.

But enough looking back.  The past is the past and there is absolutely no way to change it.  I'm on call again this New Years Eve, and my plans are much less exciting.  I treated myself to Subway for dinner and am planning to watch a marathon of the Big Bang Theory.  I most likely will not stay up until midnight.  I have no desire to face a day of potential emergencies while experiencing a lack of sleep just for the sake of watching other people party on television.

I don't do formal resolutions because I feel that they always seem generic.  Besides I read a news article this week that actually confirms that people have much more success reaching goals if they do not tell people about them.  I've thought of several things I would like to change about my life over the next year and some fun things that I would like to do just for the sake of checking them off the bucket list.  I may or may not succeed at any or all of them, but I've made up my mind to give them a go.

So Happy New Year everyone!  I hope 2012 brings you everything you need and at least some of the things you want.  I'll keep you posted on the adventures in veterinary medicine and the craziness is that is the life of Julie :-)