Saturday, December 24, 2011

A Veterinarian's Chistmas, by Anonymous

It is the night before Christmas and I'm in my truck.
I'll be home before daylight with any luck.
I've got a prolapse behind me and a dystocia to go -
Wouldn't you know it's starting to snow.

I pulled in the barn, "Doc, I sure hated to phone ya -"
"I've got a heifer that's calving and a colt with pneumonia."
I examined the heifer; posterior presentation
And the cervix was tight - incomplete dilation!

I cleaned up my tools and put on my jacket.
I was headed to the truck when I heard the racket.
I peeked 'round the corner, my gosh it's a deer!
And a fat little man dressed in red standing near.

The deer was standing holding up a front hoof.
From the looks of things he'd fallen off the roof.
The man looked over my way and asked me to help.
I couldn't resist the kind little elf.

I examined the deer's carpus to see if it was broke.
Then to my amazement the reindeer spoke!
He spoke quite firmly, his voice didn't quiver.
"We've got to keep going, we've got gifts to deliver."

I said, "He needs x-rays, stall rest, restricted motion.
The last thing he should do is fly over the ocean!"
Then Santa replied, "It's up to Donner."
And Donner said something about duty and honor.
 
So I gave him a dose of bute and flunixin
Wondering if I was breaking some government restriction.
I fashioned a splint-bandage and wrapped it on tight.
Standing there in his harness he made quite a sight.

 
They promised they'd go see a vet the next day,
so with some final instructions I sent them on their way.
I stood mouth wide open as they flew out of sight.
Santa yelled, "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

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