Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Things They Don't Teach You

Vet school is a 4-year information blitz at 100 mph from all directions.  A lot of it just sticks long enough to pass the test, some of it sticks forever (although that usually applies to useless knowledge), and the rest of it you remember it as you need to.  Unfortunately none of those things are as important as the things they don't teach you.  Such as:  
  • How to explain that all the money in the world can't fix a horse's broken leg if the horse can't walk to the trailer
  • How to explain there isn't going to be anything wrong with a 12 year old goat that can be easily fixed
  • How to convince someone that the horse that has been itching for 2 weeks can wait until morning
  • How to tell someone that you have absolutely no idea why their favorite steer kicks at their daughter
  • How to restrain yourself from cursing like an R-rated movie when an animal causes you bodily harm
  • How necessary an FM transmitter for your iPod is, because if you hear Carrie Underwood make that screeching sound at the end of a song one more time...
  • How important it is to keep your GPS maps up-to-date
  • How useful traffic reports can be
  • How to fill out federal forms that haven't changed in 50 years to the satisfaction of a veterinarian that wouldn't know a cow if it ran over them carrying a sign saying, "Hey, I'm a cow."
There are others, but now you have an idea of what I'm up against everyday.

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